It's been a while since I wrote about stuff happening in my life so now is the time of updating!
I passed all my courses.
Then it was christmas.
I got an electric guitar, a Squier Strat, and a Fender Frontman amp. Been practicing with it, it's fun :3
Also, got games and the usual shirts and stuff.
And work hadn't scheduled me for a couple weeks cause I took 2 weeks off for finals and they decided they need me more on days now so they gave me a couple more weeks. Which rocks.
Been pullin like 48 hour video game binges, hung out with friends, saw the movie 'the spirit'.
Back to games and stuff.
Also, happy new year!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Thursday, December 18, 2008
the world is fucked up
so, how come Hitler and Hussein are so hated and condemned when Israel HAS BEEN AND CURRENTLY IS COMMITTING GENOCIDE?
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Post
This system is for the use of authorized users only. Individuals using this computer system without authority or in the excess of their authority are subject to having all their activities on this system monitored and recorded by system personnel. In the course of monitoring individuals improperly using this system or in the course of system maintenance, the activities of authorized user may also be monitored. Anyone using this system expressly consents to such monitoring and is advised that if such monitoring reveals possible evidence of illegal activity or violation of University regulations system personnel may provide the evidence of such monitoring to University authorities and/or law enforcement officials.
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
whirrr
*click click click GRIND*
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
whirrr
*click click click GRIND*
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
whirrr
*click click click GRIND*
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
whirrr
*click click click GRIND*
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
whirrr
*click click click GRIND*
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
whirrr
*click click click GRIND*
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
This one seems to be some sort of code producing machine. You put stimulants in it and code comes out.
This is pointless to even write. Like an out of body experience i can see myself breaking. I never did handle stress well.
I've been pretty filled with rage and anger lately... I dunno how much of that is due to stimulants or if I have a reason to be angry.
The academic adviser caught me in the hallway when i was showing up late... again. He told me to smile cause there's only 2 weeks left... I told him that was exactly why I haven't been smiling.
I need to be faster I need to push my brain harder. I need to eat more stimulants so I can get everything done. It's only 2 weeks. I'm sure my body can handle the extra strain. It's been surviving so far...
I cant
fuck
neurons are just transistors anyway, just multi input gates
i just need to overclock my brain more
fucking make those transistors burn
push the amps to the rails
I R AN AUTOMATON
I dont even know why I am writing this
I can't rationalize the time I'm spending to type this
dsf;dfhdsflajfads;fdlhfdjflhgfds;hljflk;ej;hehlafh
Friday, November 21, 2008
sup
Atlas Shrugged is quite possibly the hardest book I have ever read.
It contains such profound concepts that you really have to read carefully and think hard about them so they sink in. I really enjoyed reading it and it even made me cry at one or two parts. And the end was magnificent!
I honestly think that if everyone in america lived by the principals in that book, the world would be a better place.
As for school stuff, we are within the last 3 weeks.
So! I have to finish the 3d multiplayer tank game with my group. The group is getting along well and I like my team members. We are making good progress. I still need to finish my chemical plant control software (and manual and report) and in web development I need to finish the power plant operator website. Ohh and I need to finish some DMAC labs and write an OS for my micro controller.
I also have almost all the electronics components I will ever need. And a fluke DVM and a couple more routers switches print-servers and miscellaneous stuff. And an antistatic mat. All I really need now is an oscilloscope. And I need to build a variable voltage power supply.
I dunno if I'm catching something or if it's the stress and lack of sleep but I've had no apatite lately. And it's taking at least 2 energy drinks to get through the day these days. (or a couple hydroxicut cause that's the only other caffeine thing I could find and I was in a hurry). And that nicotine gum, and the other prescription stimulants I am constantly on.
Also, me and a friend have made some possible insight on my depression and what seems to trigger it. And I seem to be happier when I get to voice chat with people while I am relaxing.
umm... I have 2.5 hours to sleep before I have to go into work...
so this will have to be sufficient
It contains such profound concepts that you really have to read carefully and think hard about them so they sink in. I really enjoyed reading it and it even made me cry at one or two parts. And the end was magnificent!
I honestly think that if everyone in america lived by the principals in that book, the world would be a better place.
As for school stuff, we are within the last 3 weeks.
So! I have to finish the 3d multiplayer tank game with my group. The group is getting along well and I like my team members. We are making good progress. I still need to finish my chemical plant control software (and manual and report) and in web development I need to finish the power plant operator website. Ohh and I need to finish some DMAC labs and write an OS for my micro controller.
I also have almost all the electronics components I will ever need. And a fluke DVM and a couple more routers switches print-servers and miscellaneous stuff. And an antistatic mat. All I really need now is an oscilloscope. And I need to build a variable voltage power supply.
I dunno if I'm catching something or if it's the stress and lack of sleep but I've had no apatite lately. And it's taking at least 2 energy drinks to get through the day these days. (or a couple hydroxicut cause that's the only other caffeine thing I could find and I was in a hurry). And that nicotine gum, and the other prescription stimulants I am constantly on.
Also, me and a friend have made some possible insight on my depression and what seems to trigger it. And I seem to be happier when I get to voice chat with people while I am relaxing.
umm... I have 2.5 hours to sleep before I have to go into work...
so this will have to be sufficient
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
--time;
there is never enough time.
I'm reading atlas shrugged when I can, I'm most of the way through it. It is way deeper than I anticipated and reading it in small doses also helps to let some of the concepts sink in.
Temperature sensor was finished and it works nice and is waterproof.
Work doesn't want me taking more days off, but I have so many projects because of school and I keep falling behind. I am going to demand some days off (again) and if they won't give me them I will not show up.
Because my priority is school and with the skills I have I could get a better paying job elsewhere or even just do some contract work.
And this entry is really short because I'm about to be kicked out of the lab because there is another class coming in.
PS remember when I mentioned I helped someone at my store by fixing the router that handled electronic transactions?
The manager gave me a gift certificate, and it felt really good. :3
I'm reading atlas shrugged when I can, I'm most of the way through it. It is way deeper than I anticipated and reading it in small doses also helps to let some of the concepts sink in.
Temperature sensor was finished and it works nice and is waterproof.
Work doesn't want me taking more days off, but I have so many projects because of school and I keep falling behind. I am going to demand some days off (again) and if they won't give me them I will not show up.
Because my priority is school and with the skills I have I could get a better paying job elsewhere or even just do some contract work.
And this entry is really short because I'm about to be kicked out of the lab because there is another class coming in.
PS remember when I mentioned I helped someone at my store by fixing the router that handled electronic transactions?
The manager gave me a gift certificate, and it felt really good. :3
Monday, October 06, 2008
oops, forgot to add something :(
Oops.
Forgot to mention something.
I found out the other day that one of my friends might be in a lot of trouble. Apparently he got mixed up with "the wrong crowd" and then ended up pissing a lot of them off.
And he seems to have dropped off the face of the earth, got fired from work, isn't answering phone or text, doesn't have anywhere to live and is roaming around with a tent (from all the info I could gather).
So I don't even know if he is alive or not. And that makes me sad. And worried.
I hope he is ok, cause he's a really good guy. :(
Also, I hope Katie is ok, cause I haven't heard from her for a while now... (last I heard, she was having some problems too, though not quite the same ones)
Forgot to mention something.
I found out the other day that one of my friends might be in a lot of trouble. Apparently he got mixed up with "the wrong crowd" and then ended up pissing a lot of them off.
And he seems to have dropped off the face of the earth, got fired from work, isn't answering phone or text, doesn't have anywhere to live and is roaming around with a tent (from all the info I could gather).
So I don't even know if he is alive or not. And that makes me sad. And worried.
I hope he is ok, cause he's a really good guy. :(
Also, I hope Katie is ok, cause I haven't heard from her for a while now... (last I heard, she was having some problems too, though not quite the same ones)
haven't written a longish entry for a while
I guess (one of) the problem(s) with me is something that is also one of my greatest strengths. I think it is mostly due to the way my brain is wired and also because of ADHD. I have trouble focusing on only one thing. So I spread my attention too thin. Sometimes, this works out well for me since it allows me to multitask really well, to jump from a problem to a solution in a parallel fashion (sometimes I even see code in my head... and sometimes I see the world in code).
Interestingly, there is another side to this. And that is the ability to become hyper fixated on something. An excessive amount of focus on one thing, to the exclusion of all else. My micro board is one of the things I've focused too much on lately. (Another classic part of ADHD is people will get hyper focused on stuff like daydreaming).
Anyway, the point of the above is that I've been slipping. I had friday off and I had planned to get caught up but I didn't. Then over the weekend, I worked and slept. And accomplished nothing. So now I need to work even harder to get caught up.
Actually, I wonder if I sub consciously like it.
I wonder if I do this to myself on purpose. I know I seem (I can't be sure since subjectivity, etc.) to get more done when I'm under more pressure, but is this because I crave the rush of adrenaline that it gives me?
There is something about the bus that kills me. I'll get on the bus, all excited to get home so I can get my homework done, but once I arrive, all that ambition, all the energy I had is gone. Replaced by fatigue and laziness.
I'm getting an impossible headache considering the analgesics and decongestants I'm on. I'm pretty sure I got over my cold and it's just remnants of it left.
I really need to hurry up and finish this blog so I can get to doing work.
Also, 'Atlas Shrugged' was a trap. I've been drawn into it and now I MUST read more of it every day. And I feel sad every single time I have to close the book because I have to eat or sleep or go to class. I don't want food, I want to read this book.
Towards the end of last week and over the weekend, I slept less and less and barely ate anything at all. Wasn't hungry. Wasn't tired. I think I was deriving energy from the very air itself. Or maybe all the stimulants. Unfortunately I crashed on sunday afternoon which was when I was gonna finish a few assignments. Oh well.
The other day at work, I was going on break trying to purchase some food but the debit wouldn't go through. In fact, the entire store was unable to process debit transactions and colleague (that's what the call us employees, lol) discount program. I was pretty upset, considering we've been having a lot of technology problems there lately so I went to talk to the manager who was handling this problem. In hindsight, I was /definitely/ taking a risk by walking right into the computer room unauthorized and interrupting her on the phone. I straight up asked her, what was the problem. And she told me that tech support told her to find a "blue oval router, whatever that is". Apparently they told her a cable was unplugged. And I explained to her that the router could just be locked up or unplugged, etc. She had no clue what she was doing and the routers weren't even in that room so I told her to follow me. And we went to the networking closet and I explained what I was going to do and why I was going to do it. Then I did it, power cycling three routers (I didn't have the network layout and I figured it would be faster to do it this way). One didn't come back on. My first assumption was that it was dead, but I thought I'd try some things so I unplugged all cables on it and plugged them back in which didn't solve anything. Then I unplugged the power adapter from the power bar and plugged it into a different port. And suddenly the router was performing it's POST. And she relayed what I was telling her to tech support and thanked them and hung up. And then debit transactions were working again!!
And she thanked and praised me profusely. And the reason I'm mentioning this is that it reminded me how much I enjoy being praised. That people appreciate what I do. Of course, I then proceeded to take my break (which meant I was gone from my department for longer than I was supposed to be, but hey, I was still doing work for the company :) ) It totally made my day.
And now that manager knows I can help with some of the tech stuff and she agreed to see if she could find me the network diagrams so I could more precisely identify the problem in the future. If anything were to happen. Because no one wants to be on the phone with tech support only to have to have them send someone out and then the store is crippled until they get there. She is nice and friendly and it rubbed off on my and I was somewhat nicer to customers and smiling at them and stuff, WHICH IS TOTALLY NOT LIKE ME, USUALLY I'M PRETTY APATHETIC TOWARDS CUSTOMERS BECAUSE I DO NOT LIKE THEM VERY MUCH.
Oh, and I just happen to be wearing my Panic! at the Disco shirt today. And listening to Panic! at the Disco at this very moment. But I'm ending this here and I'm probably gonna switch to either psytrance or rave music or maybe NIN while I hack out some code.
I can totally rationalize my time on facebook since one of the things I'm supposed to be working on is javascript, lol.
Interestingly, there is another side to this. And that is the ability to become hyper fixated on something. An excessive amount of focus on one thing, to the exclusion of all else. My micro board is one of the things I've focused too much on lately. (Another classic part of ADHD is people will get hyper focused on stuff like daydreaming).
Anyway, the point of the above is that I've been slipping. I had friday off and I had planned to get caught up but I didn't. Then over the weekend, I worked and slept. And accomplished nothing. So now I need to work even harder to get caught up.
Actually, I wonder if I sub consciously like it.
I wonder if I do this to myself on purpose. I know I seem (I can't be sure since subjectivity, etc.) to get more done when I'm under more pressure, but is this because I crave the rush of adrenaline that it gives me?
There is something about the bus that kills me. I'll get on the bus, all excited to get home so I can get my homework done, but once I arrive, all that ambition, all the energy I had is gone. Replaced by fatigue and laziness.
I'm getting an impossible headache considering the analgesics and decongestants I'm on. I'm pretty sure I got over my cold and it's just remnants of it left.
I really need to hurry up and finish this blog so I can get to doing work.
Also, 'Atlas Shrugged' was a trap. I've been drawn into it and now I MUST read more of it every day. And I feel sad every single time I have to close the book because I have to eat or sleep or go to class. I don't want food, I want to read this book.
Towards the end of last week and over the weekend, I slept less and less and barely ate anything at all. Wasn't hungry. Wasn't tired. I think I was deriving energy from the very air itself. Or maybe all the stimulants. Unfortunately I crashed on sunday afternoon which was when I was gonna finish a few assignments. Oh well.
The other day at work, I was going on break trying to purchase some food but the debit wouldn't go through. In fact, the entire store was unable to process debit transactions and colleague (that's what the call us employees, lol) discount program. I was pretty upset, considering we've been having a lot of technology problems there lately so I went to talk to the manager who was handling this problem. In hindsight, I was /definitely/ taking a risk by walking right into the computer room unauthorized and interrupting her on the phone. I straight up asked her, what was the problem. And she told me that tech support told her to find a "blue oval router, whatever that is". Apparently they told her a cable was unplugged. And I explained to her that the router could just be locked up or unplugged, etc. She had no clue what she was doing and the routers weren't even in that room so I told her to follow me. And we went to the networking closet and I explained what I was going to do and why I was going to do it. Then I did it, power cycling three routers (I didn't have the network layout and I figured it would be faster to do it this way). One didn't come back on. My first assumption was that it was dead, but I thought I'd try some things so I unplugged all cables on it and plugged them back in which didn't solve anything. Then I unplugged the power adapter from the power bar and plugged it into a different port. And suddenly the router was performing it's POST. And she relayed what I was telling her to tech support and thanked them and hung up. And then debit transactions were working again!!
And she thanked and praised me profusely. And the reason I'm mentioning this is that it reminded me how much I enjoy being praised. That people appreciate what I do. Of course, I then proceeded to take my break (which meant I was gone from my department for longer than I was supposed to be, but hey, I was still doing work for the company :) ) It totally made my day.
And now that manager knows I can help with some of the tech stuff and she agreed to see if she could find me the network diagrams so I could more precisely identify the problem in the future. If anything were to happen. Because no one wants to be on the phone with tech support only to have to have them send someone out and then the store is crippled until they get there. She is nice and friendly and it rubbed off on my and I was somewhat nicer to customers and smiling at them and stuff, WHICH IS TOTALLY NOT LIKE ME, USUALLY I'M PRETTY APATHETIC TOWARDS CUSTOMERS BECAUSE I DO NOT LIKE THEM VERY MUCH.
Oh, and I just happen to be wearing my Panic! at the Disco shirt today. And listening to Panic! at the Disco at this very moment. But I'm ending this here and I'm probably gonna switch to either psytrance or rave music or maybe NIN while I hack out some code.
I can totally rationalize my time on facebook since one of the things I'm supposed to be working on is javascript, lol.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Post
I apologize for any spelling errors or whatever, I'm rushing this cause I need to get some sleep before work
so I am about 15% through Atlas Shrugged.
I really identify with Dagny and Rearden. And I am outraged and disgusted and the way the world works.
And this book is way deeper than I thought it would be.
And it is causing me to not do my homework, lol.
I've been considering returning to some of the artsites I used to post on. But I need to find the inspiration to make meaningful art. And I'm bad at creativity.
I still need to finish the stupid webdev stuff and a couple C# apps that I should have written weeks ago. And I'm probably forgetting stuff, but sleep is beckoning.
Oh, for some reason I've barely eaten anything for the past few days. It's weird. I'm just not hungry. I think I'm living off of caffeine and stimulants at this point.
And I'm worried about a friend who got mixed up with the wrong people and now I don't even know if he is still alive or what. :(
I think in the past 2 days I got about 20 minutes of sleep. And I have no idea why... there are not enough hours to do everything that needs to be done
so I am about 15% through Atlas Shrugged.
I really identify with Dagny and Rearden. And I am outraged and disgusted and the way the world works.
And this book is way deeper than I thought it would be.
And it is causing me to not do my homework, lol.
I've been considering returning to some of the artsites I used to post on. But I need to find the inspiration to make meaningful art. And I'm bad at creativity.
I still need to finish the stupid webdev stuff and a couple C# apps that I should have written weeks ago. And I'm probably forgetting stuff, but sleep is beckoning.
Oh, for some reason I've barely eaten anything for the past few days. It's weird. I'm just not hungry. I think I'm living off of caffeine and stimulants at this point.
And I'm worried about a friend who got mixed up with the wrong people and now I don't even know if he is still alive or what. :(
I think in the past 2 days I got about 20 minutes of sleep. And I have no idea why... there are not enough hours to do everything that needs to be done
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Post
Well, I was gonna write a long entry about stuff but I got distracted by wasting my time on the internets so I didn't get around to it lol run on sentence
Anyway, I've been working with code and cold calculating logic and machines and circuits so much and I haven't hung out with anyone at all for weeks.
And I really miss cuddling :(
In other news, I am reading 'Atlas Shrugged'
Anyway, I've been working with code and cold calculating logic and machines and circuits so much and I haven't hung out with anyone at all for weeks.
And I really miss cuddling :(
In other news, I am reading 'Atlas Shrugged'
Thursday, September 25, 2008
more of me orgasming because of my embedded microcontroller
Recently, I've been pretty much obsessed with my micro. In my last entry, I spoke of some of the hardware issues, this one I'm going to talk about some software stuff.
The sinewave had to exceed a certain frequency. Now, considering the speed of my MCU (microcontroller), this wasn't a super high frequency.
I wasn't satisfied to just meet the specified frequency. I wanted... no, I NEEDED to get the highest frequency possible.
My initial code was slow. I wrote it how the instructor suggested. I then began to optimize the code.
I needed to generate a 32 point sinewave. Each point had to be sent to the digital to analog converter. The MCU could send data to the SPI (serial peripheral interface) at a maximum rate of 614400 bits per second. This meant that it took 1.627 micro seconds per bit. I had to transfer two 8 bit bytes to the SPI for each data point. So transferring 16 bits would take 26.041 micro seconds and, since the MCU takes 813.8 nano seconds per cycle, this meant that it would take about 32 cycles. Each 8 bit transfer took 16 cycles. I pre-calculated each of the 32 datapoints. I eliminated all stacking and unstacking operations. I eliminated the use of subroutines. My code went from like 40 lines to somewhere around 900 lines. I moved the registers to memory location 0x0000 so I could use direct addressing, eliminating even more cycles. I even went through the output of the assembler, making sure that the the opcodes I wanted were being used.
I sent the first half of a data point to the SPI. Then did 8 NOPs (no operation, takes 2 cycles). This allowed the transfer to complete. I then loaded the SPSR (SPI status register) into accumulator A to clear the spif bit. Then I sent the second half, did 8 NOPs, cleared the spif bit. (the spif bit had to be cleared before I could continue). I then toggled SS (slave select (PORTD PD5 (pin 5, which was tied to the load line on the DAC))), causing the DAC to convert the digital code into an analog voltage. As soon as that was done, I sent the next point of data the same way, etc. Once all 32 points were output, I jumped back to where I sent the first datapoint and continued from there. This made a very nice sinewave, especially when I looked at the filtered output. Nice and smooth and I think it was somewhere over 690Hz. I was very satisfied because I am very confident that the only way the code could be faster would be increasing the clockspeed of the MCU. And my prof went over my code and agreed that it was as fast as it could be.
My micro course is definitely the course I am most passionate about. I am almost as passionate about windows programming although I'd rather be using c++ than using c#. I can't seem to get as passionate about web development. Being able to write facebook from scratch just doesn't quite excite me the same way my micro does. Since I'm so deep into the MCU, my prof gave me a hardcopy of the MCU reference manual (the full manual, with all details in it... it's bigger than some of my textbooks), and the MCU technical specifications manual (about half as big), and I already had the quick reference book. I've already read most of the reference and technical specification manuals and I've had them for a week. I kinda consider my micro board as a pet... or maybe my baby... and... I guess I love it. I know it inside and out.
I got the analog to digital converter working and I bought an extra ref02 voltage reference and a capacitor and resistor and ten turn 10k trimpot, just so I could calibrate it so the step size of the ADC would be 20mV (it's only an 8 bit ADC, unfortunately). I could now write a program that uses my microboard as a voltmeter. The next project part will be to interface an lm335 temperature sensor to it and I'm really excited to do this. Then I can code a thermometer program for my micro.
In windows programming, I'm writing a program that will generate barcodes and allows the user to print them. And making a more useful graphics manipulation program.
Speaking of windows programming, I have a lab exam in that tomorrow so I should probably get some sleep.
The sinewave had to exceed a certain frequency. Now, considering the speed of my MCU (microcontroller), this wasn't a super high frequency.
I wasn't satisfied to just meet the specified frequency. I wanted... no, I NEEDED to get the highest frequency possible.
My initial code was slow. I wrote it how the instructor suggested. I then began to optimize the code.
I needed to generate a 32 point sinewave. Each point had to be sent to the digital to analog converter. The MCU could send data to the SPI (serial peripheral interface) at a maximum rate of 614400 bits per second. This meant that it took 1.627 micro seconds per bit. I had to transfer two 8 bit bytes to the SPI for each data point. So transferring 16 bits would take 26.041 micro seconds and, since the MCU takes 813.8 nano seconds per cycle, this meant that it would take about 32 cycles. Each 8 bit transfer took 16 cycles. I pre-calculated each of the 32 datapoints. I eliminated all stacking and unstacking operations. I eliminated the use of subroutines. My code went from like 40 lines to somewhere around 900 lines. I moved the registers to memory location 0x0000 so I could use direct addressing, eliminating even more cycles. I even went through the output of the assembler, making sure that the the opcodes I wanted were being used.
I sent the first half of a data point to the SPI. Then did 8 NOPs (no operation, takes 2 cycles). This allowed the transfer to complete. I then loaded the SPSR (SPI status register) into accumulator A to clear the spif bit. Then I sent the second half, did 8 NOPs, cleared the spif bit. (the spif bit had to be cleared before I could continue). I then toggled SS (slave select (PORTD PD5 (pin 5, which was tied to the load line on the DAC))), causing the DAC to convert the digital code into an analog voltage. As soon as that was done, I sent the next point of data the same way, etc. Once all 32 points were output, I jumped back to where I sent the first datapoint and continued from there. This made a very nice sinewave, especially when I looked at the filtered output. Nice and smooth and I think it was somewhere over 690Hz. I was very satisfied because I am very confident that the only way the code could be faster would be increasing the clockspeed of the MCU. And my prof went over my code and agreed that it was as fast as it could be.
My micro course is definitely the course I am most passionate about. I am almost as passionate about windows programming although I'd rather be using c++ than using c#. I can't seem to get as passionate about web development. Being able to write facebook from scratch just doesn't quite excite me the same way my micro does. Since I'm so deep into the MCU, my prof gave me a hardcopy of the MCU reference manual (the full manual, with all details in it... it's bigger than some of my textbooks), and the MCU technical specifications manual (about half as big), and I already had the quick reference book. I've already read most of the reference and technical specification manuals and I've had them for a week. I kinda consider my micro board as a pet... or maybe my baby... and... I guess I love it. I know it inside and out.
I got the analog to digital converter working and I bought an extra ref02 voltage reference and a capacitor and resistor and ten turn 10k trimpot, just so I could calibrate it so the step size of the ADC would be 20mV (it's only an 8 bit ADC, unfortunately). I could now write a program that uses my microboard as a voltmeter. The next project part will be to interface an lm335 temperature sensor to it and I'm really excited to do this. Then I can code a thermometer program for my micro.
In windows programming, I'm writing a program that will generate barcodes and allows the user to print them. And making a more useful graphics manipulation program.
Speaking of windows programming, I have a lab exam in that tomorrow so I should probably get some sleep.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Post
As per lab specifications, the DAC hardware was installed and tested on the micro board (including all necessary filtering etc.).
All initial tests indicated that the DAC was properly installed and working within specified limits.
The subsequent part of the lab was to write code to create a sinewave out from the DAC, then to optimise the code to exceed the specified minimum frequency. Upon demonstration of the code running in ram, small modifications were to be made to allow the program to run from startup and the program was then to be bootloaded into the EEPROM and the entire system demonstrated to obtain checkoff.
The code worked fine in ram, producing a very nice sine wave out of the DAC. However, the modified code loaded into EEPROM for execution from startup failed to produce anything even remotely resembling a sinewave.
Initial suspicion was that the modifications made to the code prevented it from running, or that the minimal OS was taking care of some other aspect of the microcontroller that the DAC lab code was failing to initialize.
Code was examined line by line, each instruction checked and logic evaluated. The actual assembly produced by the assembler was also checked to ensure the proper form of instruction was being chosen.
After this failed to turn up any errors, the focus was shifted to the hardware.
Visual inspection revealed no obvious problems (any obvious flaws were caught and corrected before reaching this state). An oscilloscope was used to probe various pins relevant to the DAC subsystem. The output waveform (unfiltered) stayed low, though occasionally showed a minor pulse at regular intervals, indicating that the DAC was attempting to do something but was dying part way through the first cycle. The first significant issue detected was on SCLK (SPI clock). SCLK would show the proper clock pulses required to drive the DAC, but sometimes instead of a clear pulse, the voltage exhibited an exponential decay, even though there should have been no capacitance at that point. This explained why there was no wave out, but the cause of the SCLK glitch was still unknown at this point.
The second major breakthrough was that when SS (slave select) was probed, the clock was magically fixed until a reset pulse (at which point, the exponential decay was again seen). This raised some interesting questions since there was absolutely no logical reason why probing SS would fix SCLK. And didn't explain why SCLK was broken in the first place. Since this behavior was extremely abnormal, the chip was pulled on the suspicion that it may be blown. Logic levels were then tested on the socket while the chip was out. This revealed that there was no +5V into the chip on pin 1. The +5V rail was tested as well as the pin where the connection was made from the rail to the socket. The rail and pin tested fine, but the socket was showing no voltage to the chip. The wirewrap connection was inspected and although it appeared sound, solder was applied to ensure a solid connection. The socket now had +5V on pin 1 and the chip was re-inserted. The system was booted and the desired sinusoidal waveform appeared on the scope's display.
In summary, either the connection was good enough that when the chip was inserted, some current was able to flow through it, or the DAC8512 itself was putting approximately 2.2V out on pin 1 (Vin). When operating from ram, this problem did not manifest, but became apparent upon operation from EEPROM and this is why hardware was not initially suspected (due to the (apparent) proper operation of the DAC).
All wirewrap connections on the board are now suspect, however the board now works and since tearing it down could (although unlikely) cause damage, it is not recommended that the board be rebuilt at this point, although if furthur problems are discovered, this would likely be the best course of action.
All initial tests indicated that the DAC was properly installed and working within specified limits.
The subsequent part of the lab was to write code to create a sinewave out from the DAC, then to optimise the code to exceed the specified minimum frequency. Upon demonstration of the code running in ram, small modifications were to be made to allow the program to run from startup and the program was then to be bootloaded into the EEPROM and the entire system demonstrated to obtain checkoff.
The code worked fine in ram, producing a very nice sine wave out of the DAC. However, the modified code loaded into EEPROM for execution from startup failed to produce anything even remotely resembling a sinewave.
Initial suspicion was that the modifications made to the code prevented it from running, or that the minimal OS was taking care of some other aspect of the microcontroller that the DAC lab code was failing to initialize.
Code was examined line by line, each instruction checked and logic evaluated. The actual assembly produced by the assembler was also checked to ensure the proper form of instruction was being chosen.
After this failed to turn up any errors, the focus was shifted to the hardware.
Visual inspection revealed no obvious problems (any obvious flaws were caught and corrected before reaching this state). An oscilloscope was used to probe various pins relevant to the DAC subsystem. The output waveform (unfiltered) stayed low, though occasionally showed a minor pulse at regular intervals, indicating that the DAC was attempting to do something but was dying part way through the first cycle. The first significant issue detected was on SCLK (SPI clock). SCLK would show the proper clock pulses required to drive the DAC, but sometimes instead of a clear pulse, the voltage exhibited an exponential decay, even though there should have been no capacitance at that point. This explained why there was no wave out, but the cause of the SCLK glitch was still unknown at this point.
The second major breakthrough was that when SS (slave select) was probed, the clock was magically fixed until a reset pulse (at which point, the exponential decay was again seen). This raised some interesting questions since there was absolutely no logical reason why probing SS would fix SCLK. And didn't explain why SCLK was broken in the first place. Since this behavior was extremely abnormal, the chip was pulled on the suspicion that it may be blown. Logic levels were then tested on the socket while the chip was out. This revealed that there was no +5V into the chip on pin 1. The +5V rail was tested as well as the pin where the connection was made from the rail to the socket. The rail and pin tested fine, but the socket was showing no voltage to the chip. The wirewrap connection was inspected and although it appeared sound, solder was applied to ensure a solid connection. The socket now had +5V on pin 1 and the chip was re-inserted. The system was booted and the desired sinusoidal waveform appeared on the scope's display.
In summary, either the connection was good enough that when the chip was inserted, some current was able to flow through it, or the DAC8512 itself was putting approximately 2.2V out on pin 1 (Vin). When operating from ram, this problem did not manifest, but became apparent upon operation from EEPROM and this is why hardware was not initially suspected (due to the (apparent) proper operation of the DAC).
All wirewrap connections on the board are now suspect, however the board now works and since tearing it down could (although unlikely) cause damage, it is not recommended that the board be rebuilt at this point, although if furthur problems are discovered, this would likely be the best course of action.
Thursday, September 04, 2008
omg school again
So school has begun once again. Well, last week.
But I didn't get around to blogging until just now.
Web development class seems interesting and the prof seems pretty cool.
Windows programming with C# feels like an insult to my intelligence so far. After years of coding apps in C++, the fact that Visual Studio writes most of my code is an insult. But leaves me more time to focus on my other classes so that's good in a way. I'm always gonna be a C++ coder though, I definitely like it better.
But I'm picking up C# really easily which is nice.
I have the same prof for micro 2 and DMAC and he is really good. I feel a lot better about DMAC now than I did when I dropped it last year. The prof makes a huge difference.
Industrial programming also seems pretty good so far. The only obstacle in that course will be that the trilogy software is kinda shitty. Well... the interface is really shitty. Like, if you're naming IO lines, you can't just tab to the next field or click the next field. You HAVE to hit enter after every entry. And then when adding relays, (switches and stuff) to make certain things (like two in parallel followed by one in series) the order you add things makes a huge difference and often you have to re enter entire circuits because the software sucks. ...you'd have to use it to understand. Anyway, by the end of the course we'll be programming a PLD to control a chemical plant.
The best class is micro 2. Since there are only 2 students other than me. One of them rarely shows up and the other sometimes doesn't, so sometimes it's just me and the prof. And he's teaching it more like a seminar. I'm really enjoying it and it's giving me a much better understanding of the base hardware design (micro 2 is short for micro computer design 2), and coding directly for the hardware. It makes me feel really smart. Yesterday I mounted the stuff for the DAC and I still have to finish wirewrapping it but I've already begun writing the code to use the DAC with the HC11's SPI.
Other than that, I'm fighting off a cold (runny nose, stuffed up sinuses, headaches, cough, etc). But I feel pretty healthy otherwise. Work is taking up my weekends.
But I'm doing ok so far.
But I didn't get around to blogging until just now.
Web development class seems interesting and the prof seems pretty cool.
Windows programming with C# feels like an insult to my intelligence so far. After years of coding apps in C++, the fact that Visual Studio writes most of my code is an insult. But leaves me more time to focus on my other classes so that's good in a way. I'm always gonna be a C++ coder though, I definitely like it better.
But I'm picking up C# really easily which is nice.
I have the same prof for micro 2 and DMAC and he is really good. I feel a lot better about DMAC now than I did when I dropped it last year. The prof makes a huge difference.
Industrial programming also seems pretty good so far. The only obstacle in that course will be that the trilogy software is kinda shitty. Well... the interface is really shitty. Like, if you're naming IO lines, you can't just tab to the next field or click the next field. You HAVE to hit enter after every entry. And then when adding relays, (switches and stuff) to make certain things (like two in parallel followed by one in series) the order you add things makes a huge difference and often you have to re enter entire circuits because the software sucks. ...you'd have to use it to understand. Anyway, by the end of the course we'll be programming a PLD to control a chemical plant.
The best class is micro 2. Since there are only 2 students other than me. One of them rarely shows up and the other sometimes doesn't, so sometimes it's just me and the prof. And he's teaching it more like a seminar. I'm really enjoying it and it's giving me a much better understanding of the base hardware design (micro 2 is short for micro computer design 2), and coding directly for the hardware. It makes me feel really smart. Yesterday I mounted the stuff for the DAC and I still have to finish wirewrapping it but I've already begun writing the code to use the DAC with the HC11's SPI.
Other than that, I'm fighting off a cold (runny nose, stuffed up sinuses, headaches, cough, etc). But I feel pretty healthy otherwise. Work is taking up my weekends.
But I'm doing ok so far.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
panick mode
I'm pretty bad at planning.
And time management.
I had no idea classes start this upcoming monday.
So now I am in panick mode. (I know that isn't how to spell panic but I like to spell it like that so JUST FUCKING DEAL WITH IT)
Now I have to get off the work schedule for next week which is gonna piss a lot of people off but I don't have any other options at the moment.
Once again, I am in debt because of tuition. However, I should be able to pay off my credit card within a few months. And then I'll be out of debt but broke.
I know I can succeed if I focus really hard this year. So I may not be all over the internet like I used to be. ...although, so far, this summer, I haven't been around that much anyway. Working nights has been rough but it has it's benefits.
I remember when the internet used to be my life. I'd be on all kinds of art sites and many different irc servers and many channels on each. And I've drifted away from most of that. I still visit some, but as of next week, I'll probably be on a lot less. I don't even intend on using my cell in class anymore. I am sick of school and I want out and I will do whatever it takes to succeed.
Somehow, with work and classes and course work, I am still going to have to make time for hanging out with friends. I can't let myself slip into a lonely depression.
I began cleaning my room a few days ago. It makes me want to kill myself it's so bad. The more I clean, the more mess I find to clean.
I have made a lot of progress though. There is now a tv stand / entertainment center thing in here where the unused aquarium stuff used to be. I put my networking gear on top of it and it doesn't look bad. I also added an extra speaker system, with a powered sub and it makes a huge difference. It's not perfect but it's better than before.
I'm probably going to keep the old cart like thing to use for my electronics stuff, cause I don't have room on my desk.
I'm gonna have to end this entry here since I have stuff I need to get done and then I gotta go to sleep because I have to make sure I'm not late for work tonight/this morning.
And time management.
I had no idea classes start this upcoming monday.
So now I am in panick mode. (I know that isn't how to spell panic but I like to spell it like that so JUST FUCKING DEAL WITH IT)
Now I have to get off the work schedule for next week which is gonna piss a lot of people off but I don't have any other options at the moment.
Once again, I am in debt because of tuition. However, I should be able to pay off my credit card within a few months. And then I'll be out of debt but broke.
I know I can succeed if I focus really hard this year. So I may not be all over the internet like I used to be. ...although, so far, this summer, I haven't been around that much anyway. Working nights has been rough but it has it's benefits.
I remember when the internet used to be my life. I'd be on all kinds of art sites and many different irc servers and many channels on each. And I've drifted away from most of that. I still visit some, but as of next week, I'll probably be on a lot less. I don't even intend on using my cell in class anymore. I am sick of school and I want out and I will do whatever it takes to succeed.
Somehow, with work and classes and course work, I am still going to have to make time for hanging out with friends. I can't let myself slip into a lonely depression.
I began cleaning my room a few days ago. It makes me want to kill myself it's so bad. The more I clean, the more mess I find to clean.
I have made a lot of progress though. There is now a tv stand / entertainment center thing in here where the unused aquarium stuff used to be. I put my networking gear on top of it and it doesn't look bad. I also added an extra speaker system, with a powered sub and it makes a huge difference. It's not perfect but it's better than before.
I'm probably going to keep the old cart like thing to use for my electronics stuff, cause I don't have room on my desk.
I'm gonna have to end this entry here since I have stuff I need to get done and then I gotta go to sleep because I have to make sure I'm not late for work tonight/this morning.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
A rant about work
I figured it was tl;dr so if you wanna read it, you can look here: http://nikuramon.livejournal.com/42454.html
Friday, July 18, 2008
stuff
:(
I get to do all the price changes first thing tomorrow morning. Saturdays always have the most price changes.
They keep giving me more responsibilities, even as they reduce the number of hours and staff. Head office is mostly (completely) to blame for that (the banning overtime and reduction of staff).
The more responsibilities makes me feel way more important, however, it makes the job so much more stressful.
This morning, I was so pissed off. I felt something on my hair and thought maybe it was some condensation or something from the ceiling. But I fluffed my hair anyway, to be sure it wasn't debris and it turns out a spider parachuted down onto my head. As it attempted to escape I killed it, since it was v. rude to drop in unannounced like that. And later, I saw another spider. Whether it's due to the stimulants or some other factor, the only way I can explain the way it made me feel is 'squiggly'. I guess 'crawling in my skin' might work too.
I also did an experiment!
Since stimulants were making me have to urinate lots and getting me dehydrated, I decided to eat some salt cause afaik, it leads to water retention. And preliminary results are that it seems to work, at least to some extent. Though, this also probably makes my blood pressure even worse than it already is. I'm not a dr. so I am no expert on the manner. But it did make /logical/ sense!
I should sleep, I gotta try to get there before 3am tomorrow. It's going to be a very busy shift.
Oh yes! I almost forgot.
Something to think about:
When the law itself is flawed/wrong, is it wrong to disobey/fight it?
Who is the criminal, those who break a law that shouldn't even exist or those who made the law or attempt to enforce it?
I get to do all the price changes first thing tomorrow morning. Saturdays always have the most price changes.
They keep giving me more responsibilities, even as they reduce the number of hours and staff. Head office is mostly (completely) to blame for that (the banning overtime and reduction of staff).
The more responsibilities makes me feel way more important, however, it makes the job so much more stressful.
This morning, I was so pissed off. I felt something on my hair and thought maybe it was some condensation or something from the ceiling. But I fluffed my hair anyway, to be sure it wasn't debris and it turns out a spider parachuted down onto my head. As it attempted to escape I killed it, since it was v. rude to drop in unannounced like that. And later, I saw another spider. Whether it's due to the stimulants or some other factor, the only way I can explain the way it made me feel is 'squiggly'. I guess 'crawling in my skin' might work too.
I also did an experiment!
Since stimulants were making me have to urinate lots and getting me dehydrated, I decided to eat some salt cause afaik, it leads to water retention. And preliminary results are that it seems to work, at least to some extent. Though, this also probably makes my blood pressure even worse than it already is. I'm not a dr. so I am no expert on the manner. But it did make /logical/ sense!
I should sleep, I gotta try to get there before 3am tomorrow. It's going to be a very busy shift.
Oh yes! I almost forgot.
Something to think about:
When the law itself is flawed/wrong, is it wrong to disobey/fight it?
Who is the criminal, those who break a law that shouldn't even exist or those who made the law or attempt to enforce it?
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Tuesday: A dinosaur adventure!!
So, todays blog is about tuesday. (the 15 of july, 2008)
Finally my schedule worked out in my favor.
I finally got to see a really awesome friend who I hadn't seen for a long time. (well, two friends, actually, though I didn't get to spend much time with one of them).
Chris stopped by to drop off my new (old) switch. It's way huger than I expected. With dual redundant power supplies and 24 switching ports connected via the backplane to the supervisor board with an additional 2 fast ethernet ports and 2 mii connectors. (as well as the console port). Oh! and now I have 9 of the Cisco routers. And one partially completed power supply for them. I'm going to need to make a bunch of cables because I don't have any of the proper ones for these devices. I have the pin outs so the tough part will be finding the connectors.
Once Chris left, me and my other friend went out to get coffee and talk. It was really awesome seeing her again, and even just talking made life seem so much better.
Then we drove around and chilled and then we had an adventure!
There are some really nice trails near my house. We went exploring on one of them. Plants and trees had overgrown the path and suddenly, we were in the amazon! We found this prehistoric lake that seemed like it would be nice to swim in but then there were dinosaurs!! And we were yelling at them "you are a dinosaur!!!!!" and trying to communicate with them by making duck sounds!
My friend made a tail out of a bunch of these long grass things that were growing out of the water. It looked really cute on her and looked like a dinosaur tail (well, I thought it did anyway).
We even had to cross some parts of the path that had turned into swamp! But at least it wasn't lava!!! The path was a lot longer than I remembered it. It seemed to stretch on forever and all the trees and plants were so huge! But that was a good thing because the wonderful moment seemed to last longer.
Sadly, she had to return home, however, it was definitely one of the best afternoons I have had!
There is so much more I wish I could put into words, but I just can't seem to describe how incredibly awesome it was.
In other news, I have my NIN concert ticket, so I'm very excited for that.
Finally my schedule worked out in my favor.
I finally got to see a really awesome friend who I hadn't seen for a long time. (well, two friends, actually, though I didn't get to spend much time with one of them).
Chris stopped by to drop off my new (old) switch. It's way huger than I expected. With dual redundant power supplies and 24 switching ports connected via the backplane to the supervisor board with an additional 2 fast ethernet ports and 2 mii connectors. (as well as the console port). Oh! and now I have 9 of the Cisco routers. And one partially completed power supply for them. I'm going to need to make a bunch of cables because I don't have any of the proper ones for these devices. I have the pin outs so the tough part will be finding the connectors.
Once Chris left, me and my other friend went out to get coffee and talk. It was really awesome seeing her again, and even just talking made life seem so much better.
Then we drove around and chilled and then we had an adventure!
There are some really nice trails near my house. We went exploring on one of them. Plants and trees had overgrown the path and suddenly, we were in the amazon! We found this prehistoric lake that seemed like it would be nice to swim in but then there were dinosaurs!! And we were yelling at them "you are a dinosaur!!!!!" and trying to communicate with them by making duck sounds!
My friend made a tail out of a bunch of these long grass things that were growing out of the water. It looked really cute on her and looked like a dinosaur tail (well, I thought it did anyway).
We even had to cross some parts of the path that had turned into swamp! But at least it wasn't lava!!! The path was a lot longer than I remembered it. It seemed to stretch on forever and all the trees and plants were so huge! But that was a good thing because the wonderful moment seemed to last longer.
Sadly, she had to return home, however, it was definitely one of the best afternoons I have had!
There is so much more I wish I could put into words, but I just can't seem to describe how incredibly awesome it was.
In other news, I have my NIN concert ticket, so I'm very excited for that.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Related to previous entry, kinda
This is kinda related to my last entry. Was listening to this song at work a yesterday. It was hard not to cry. :(
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9UI-m-Qd8s
"My father came from Japan in 1905
He was 15 when he immigrated from Japan
He worked until he was able to buy respect and build a store
Let me tell you the story in the form of a dream,
I don't know why I have to tell it but I know what it means,
Close your eyes, just picture the scene,
As I paint it for you, it was World War II,
When this man named Kenji woke up,
Ken was not a soldier,
He was just a man with a family who owned a store in LA,
That day, he crawled out of bed like he always did,
Bacon and eggs with wife and kids,
He lived on the second floor of a little store he ran,
He moved to LA from Japan,
They called him 'Immigrant,'
In Japanese, he'd say he was called "Issei,"
That meant 'First Generation In The United States,'
When everybody was afraid of the Germans, afraid of the Japs,
But most of all afraid of a homeland attack,
And that morning when Ken went out on the doormat,
His world went black 'cause,
Right there; front page news,
Three weeks before 1942,
"Pearl Harbour's Been Bombed And The Japs Are Comin',"
Pictures of soldiers dyin' and runnin',
Ken knew what it would lead to,
Just like he guessed, the President said,
"The evil Japanese in our home country will be locked away,"
They gave Ken, a couple of days,
To get his whole life packed in two bags,
Just two bags, couldn't even pack his clothes,
Some folks didn't even have a suitcase, to pack anything in,
So two trash bags is all they gave them,
When the kids asked mom "Where are we goin'?"
Nobody even knew what to say to them,
Ken didn't wanna lie, he said "The US is lookin' for spies,
So we have to live in a place called Manzanar,
Where a lot of Japanese people are,"
Stop it don't look at the gunmen,
You don't wanna get the soldiers wonderin',
If you gonna run or not,
'Cause if you run then you might get shot,
Other than that try not to think about it,
Try not to worry 'bout it; bein' so crowded,
Someday we'll get out, someday, someday.
As soon as war broke out
The F.B.I. came and they just come to the house and
"You have to come"
"All the Japanese have to go"
They took Mr. Ni
People didn't understand
Why did they have to take him?
Because he's an innocent laborer
So now they're in a town with soldiers surroundin' them,
Every day, every night look down at them,
From watch towers up on the wall,
Ken couldn't really hate them at all;
They were just doin' their job and,
He wasn't gonna make any problems,
He had a little garden with vegetables and fruits that,
He gave to the troops in a basket his wife made,
But in the back of his mind, he wanted his families life saved,
Prisoners of war in their own damn country,
What for?
Time passed in the prison town,
He wanted them to live it down when they were free,
The only way out was joinin' the army,
And supposedly, some men went out for the army, signed on,
And ended up flyin' to Japan with a bomb,
That 15 kilotonne blast, put an end to the war pretty fast,
Two cities were blown to bits; the end of the war came quick,
Ken got out, big hopes of a normal life, with his kids and his wife,
But, when they got back to their home,
What they saw made them feel so alone,
These people had trashed every room,
Smashed in the windows and bashed in the doors,
Written on the walls and the floor,
"Japs not welcome anymore."
And Kenji dropped both of his bags at his sides and just stood outside,
He, looked at his wife without words to say,
She looked back at him wiping tears away,
And, said "Someday we'll be OK, someday,"
Now the names have been changed, but the story's true,
My family was locked up back in '42,
My family was there it was dark and damp,
And they called it an internment camp
When we first got back from camp... uh
It was... pretty... pretty bad
I, I remember my husband said
"Are we gonna stay 'til last?"
Then my husband died before they close the camp."
lyrics taken from a site, song is by fort minor
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9UI-m-Qd8s
"My father came from Japan in 1905
He was 15 when he immigrated from Japan
He worked until he was able to buy respect and build a store
Let me tell you the story in the form of a dream,
I don't know why I have to tell it but I know what it means,
Close your eyes, just picture the scene,
As I paint it for you, it was World War II,
When this man named Kenji woke up,
Ken was not a soldier,
He was just a man with a family who owned a store in LA,
That day, he crawled out of bed like he always did,
Bacon and eggs with wife and kids,
He lived on the second floor of a little store he ran,
He moved to LA from Japan,
They called him 'Immigrant,'
In Japanese, he'd say he was called "Issei,"
That meant 'First Generation In The United States,'
When everybody was afraid of the Germans, afraid of the Japs,
But most of all afraid of a homeland attack,
And that morning when Ken went out on the doormat,
His world went black 'cause,
Right there; front page news,
Three weeks before 1942,
"Pearl Harbour's Been Bombed And The Japs Are Comin',"
Pictures of soldiers dyin' and runnin',
Ken knew what it would lead to,
Just like he guessed, the President said,
"The evil Japanese in our home country will be locked away,"
They gave Ken, a couple of days,
To get his whole life packed in two bags,
Just two bags, couldn't even pack his clothes,
Some folks didn't even have a suitcase, to pack anything in,
So two trash bags is all they gave them,
When the kids asked mom "Where are we goin'?"
Nobody even knew what to say to them,
Ken didn't wanna lie, he said "The US is lookin' for spies,
So we have to live in a place called Manzanar,
Where a lot of Japanese people are,"
Stop it don't look at the gunmen,
You don't wanna get the soldiers wonderin',
If you gonna run or not,
'Cause if you run then you might get shot,
Other than that try not to think about it,
Try not to worry 'bout it; bein' so crowded,
Someday we'll get out, someday, someday.
As soon as war broke out
The F.B.I. came and they just come to the house and
"You have to come"
"All the Japanese have to go"
They took Mr. Ni
People didn't understand
Why did they have to take him?
Because he's an innocent laborer
So now they're in a town with soldiers surroundin' them,
Every day, every night look down at them,
From watch towers up on the wall,
Ken couldn't really hate them at all;
They were just doin' their job and,
He wasn't gonna make any problems,
He had a little garden with vegetables and fruits that,
He gave to the troops in a basket his wife made,
But in the back of his mind, he wanted his families life saved,
Prisoners of war in their own damn country,
What for?
Time passed in the prison town,
He wanted them to live it down when they were free,
The only way out was joinin' the army,
And supposedly, some men went out for the army, signed on,
And ended up flyin' to Japan with a bomb,
That 15 kilotonne blast, put an end to the war pretty fast,
Two cities were blown to bits; the end of the war came quick,
Ken got out, big hopes of a normal life, with his kids and his wife,
But, when they got back to their home,
What they saw made them feel so alone,
These people had trashed every room,
Smashed in the windows and bashed in the doors,
Written on the walls and the floor,
"Japs not welcome anymore."
And Kenji dropped both of his bags at his sides and just stood outside,
He, looked at his wife without words to say,
She looked back at him wiping tears away,
And, said "Someday we'll be OK, someday,"
Now the names have been changed, but the story's true,
My family was locked up back in '42,
My family was there it was dark and damp,
And they called it an internment camp
When we first got back from camp... uh
It was... pretty... pretty bad
I, I remember my husband said
"Are we gonna stay 'til last?"
Then my husband died before they close the camp."
lyrics taken from a site, song is by fort minor
we need a revolution
I still haven't fully switched over to completely free computing yet. I know I should but part of me loves the convenience I have with certain proprietary systems. I know this is wrong. I know I need to fight harder to support freedom.
Constantly, in todays world, governments and organizations are trying to restrict our freedoms more and more.
Apathy will be our downfall.
Not enough people seem to care. Not enough people take the time to educate themselves to what is going on all around them. How many people even know about ACTA? We let our freedoms be taken away one by one, little by little.
Unfortunately, once they are gone, it's significantly more difficult to get them back.
The more I see, the more I am convinced that we have to do SOMETHING. We have to fight to protect our rights, our freedoms.
We have to rise up and unite in our cause. The enemy has incredible resources. They have armies/police/security guards. They have vicious attack lawyers. They have seemingly unlimited funds.
We can't let that stop us.
There are those who would argue that freedom of speech is wrong because it would be abused. If you don't like what you hear, don't listen to it. Just because you fear what someone might say, that is no reason to tell people they can't say it.
Censorship is wrong.
If I pay for a CD, I WILL NOT let some industry assholes tell me that I am wrong to transfer it to my computer and to my music player. If I am going to pay money for something and I will not be allowed to own it, to actually use and enjoy it, why will I waste my money? Where is the logic there?
I'm not going to buy a cd to keep in my car and a cd to keep at home.
And I am not going to keep quiet.
The corporations think they are 'right'. They claim to have the moral high ground. They don't. All they are is bullies, trying to control consumers through threats and fear.
It seems like these days, everyone is a criminal. I heard about "[a] method of providing air travel security for passengers traveling via an aircraft comprises situating a remotely activatable electric shock device on each of the passengers in position to deliver a disabling electrical shock when activated." You know they won't stop there. They'll use that as a test, phase the device in. And then require it for more and more things. Until the entire populace is under control. Wearing something like that completely demeaning. It also says "hi I am a criminal and will be treated as such."
Governments would argue that the threat of terror is enough to warrant such a device. They have done it before (see the PATRIOT act for just one of many examples of this) and they will do it again. If we let them.
http://www.aclu.org/safefree/spying/fisa.html
How can we just stand by and let this happen?
Does the constitution mean nothing anymore?
Something HAS to be done.
I have no idea what CAN be done at this point.
Constantly, in todays world, governments and organizations are trying to restrict our freedoms more and more.
Apathy will be our downfall.
Not enough people seem to care. Not enough people take the time to educate themselves to what is going on all around them. How many people even know about ACTA? We let our freedoms be taken away one by one, little by little.
Unfortunately, once they are gone, it's significantly more difficult to get them back.
The more I see, the more I am convinced that we have to do SOMETHING. We have to fight to protect our rights, our freedoms.
We have to rise up and unite in our cause. The enemy has incredible resources. They have armies/police/security guards. They have vicious attack lawyers. They have seemingly unlimited funds.
We can't let that stop us.
There are those who would argue that freedom of speech is wrong because it would be abused. If you don't like what you hear, don't listen to it. Just because you fear what someone might say, that is no reason to tell people they can't say it.
Censorship is wrong.
If I pay for a CD, I WILL NOT let some industry assholes tell me that I am wrong to transfer it to my computer and to my music player. If I am going to pay money for something and I will not be allowed to own it, to actually use and enjoy it, why will I waste my money? Where is the logic there?
I'm not going to buy a cd to keep in my car and a cd to keep at home.
And I am not going to keep quiet.
The corporations think they are 'right'. They claim to have the moral high ground. They don't. All they are is bullies, trying to control consumers through threats and fear.
It seems like these days, everyone is a criminal. I heard about "[a] method of providing air travel security for passengers traveling via an aircraft comprises situating a remotely activatable electric shock device on each of the passengers in position to deliver a disabling electrical shock when activated." You know they won't stop there. They'll use that as a test, phase the device in. And then require it for more and more things. Until the entire populace is under control. Wearing something like that completely demeaning. It also says "hi I am a criminal and will be treated as such."
Governments would argue that the threat of terror is enough to warrant such a device. They have done it before (see the PATRIOT act for just one of many examples of this) and they will do it again. If we let them.
http://www.aclu.org/safefree/spying/fisa.html
How can we just stand by and let this happen?
Does the constitution mean nothing anymore?
Something HAS to be done.
I have no idea what CAN be done at this point.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
way more whiny and emo than I intended
I was gonna write a nice long entry about lots of stuff.
But I'm exhausted and crashing. Hard.
[note: this turned out really shitty and emo and I didn't intend it that way. Sorry]
I'm sick of wasting my days off.
I'm sick of fucking scheduling conflicts.
I'm so incredibly sick of never seeing my friends anymore.
It feels like I'm invisible. Like if I didn't send someone a message, they would probably not even think of me and not send me a message. And sometimes, even when I do send a message, I don't get a reply.
Am I invisible? Am I silent?
Do I even exist anymore?
I guess everyone is too busy or something. And I feel like I am always left behind or forgotten.
The other night, I woke up so dizzy I could barely stand up. I wasn't on anything at all so I have no idea why. My ear kinda hurt but then it felt better. I ended up seeing things for that entire morning. And I knew I saw something but when I blinked, whatever it was always disappeared. I don't think it was lack of sleep because I've been sleeping a lot but maybe it was because I forgot to eat that day. And I was probably dehydrated too.
I'm having trouble hanging on to consciousness right now, so I'm probably going to disappear or pass out for a while. Also, this would be unreadable without spellcheck.
But I'm exhausted and crashing. Hard.
[note: this turned out really shitty and emo and I didn't intend it that way. Sorry]
I'm sick of wasting my days off.
I'm sick of fucking scheduling conflicts.
I'm so incredibly sick of never seeing my friends anymore.
It feels like I'm invisible. Like if I didn't send someone a message, they would probably not even think of me and not send me a message. And sometimes, even when I do send a message, I don't get a reply.
Am I invisible? Am I silent?
Do I even exist anymore?
I guess everyone is too busy or something. And I feel like I am always left behind or forgotten.
The other night, I woke up so dizzy I could barely stand up. I wasn't on anything at all so I have no idea why. My ear kinda hurt but then it felt better. I ended up seeing things for that entire morning. And I knew I saw something but when I blinked, whatever it was always disappeared. I don't think it was lack of sleep because I've been sleeping a lot but maybe it was because I forgot to eat that day. And I was probably dehydrated too.
I'm having trouble hanging on to consciousness right now, so I'm probably going to disappear or pass out for a while. Also, this would be unreadable without spellcheck.
Thursday, June 26, 2008
ok, so
I haven't posted to these blogs in a long time (again) but that was mainly because I was too lazy to post on multiple sites. But I've set up some cross posting so hopefully I'll be keeping all my blogs synchronized... unless I can think of some reason to post different things to each separate blog.
...why do I even have like 3 blogs anyway?? :/
As before, if you want to read my entries that I haven't posted here, go check http://nikuramon.livejournal.com/
...why do I even have like 3 blogs anyway?? :/
As before, if you want to read my entries that I haven't posted here, go check http://nikuramon.livejournal.com/
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